346 lines
8 KiB
Ruby
Executable file
346 lines
8 KiB
Ruby
Executable file
#!/usr/bin/ruby
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TFCStrings = { 'he' => [
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[
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"a superhumanly strong",
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"an underprivileged",
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"a globe-trotting",
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"an impetuous",
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"a shy",
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"a suave",
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"a notorious",
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"a one-legged",
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"an all-American",
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"a short-sighted",
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"an otherworldly",
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"a hate-fuelled",
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"a scrappy",
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"an unconventional",
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"a jaded",
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"a leather-clad",
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"a fiendish",
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"a Nobel prize-winning",
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"a suicidal",
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"a maverick",
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"a bookish",
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"an old-fashioned",
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"a witless",
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"a lounge-singing",
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"a war-weary",
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"a scarfaced",
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"a gun-slinging",
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"an obese",
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"a time-tossed",
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"a benighted",
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"an uncontrollable",
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"an immortal",
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"an oversexed",
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"a world-famous",
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"an ungodly",
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"a fast talking",
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"a deeply religious",
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"a lonely",
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"a sword-wielding",
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"a genetically engineered",
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],[
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"white trash",
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"zombie",
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"shark-wrestling",
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"playboy",
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"guitar-strumming",
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"Jewish",
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"sweet-toothed",
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"bohemian",
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"crooked",
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"chivalrous",
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"moralistic",
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"amnesiac",
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"devious",
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"drug-addicted",
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"voodoo",
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"Catholic",
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"overambitious",
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"coffee-fuelled",
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"pirate",
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"misogynist",
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"skateboarding",
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"arachnophobic",
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"Amish",
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"small-town",
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"Republican",
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"one-eyed",
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"gay",
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"guerilla",
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"vegetarian",
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"dishevelled",
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"alcoholic",
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"flyboy",
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"ninja",
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"albino",
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"hunchbacked",
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"neurotic",
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"umbrella-wielding",
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"native American",
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"soccer-playing",
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"day-dreaming",
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],[
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"grifter",
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"stage actor",
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"paramedic",
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"gentleman spy",
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"jungle king",
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"hairdresser",
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"photographer",
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"ex-con",
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"vagrant",
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"filmmaker",
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"werewolf",
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"senator",
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"romance novelist",
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"shaman",
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"cop",
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"rock star",
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"farmboy",
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"cat burglar",
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"cowboy",
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"cyborg",
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"inventor",
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"assassin",
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"boxer",
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"dog-catcher",
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"master criminal",
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"gangster",
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"firefighter",
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"househusband",
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"dwarf",
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"librarian",
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"paranormal investigator",
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"Green Beret",
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"waffle chef",
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"vampire hunter",
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"messiah",
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"astronaut",
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"sorceror",
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"card shark",
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"matador",
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"barbarian",
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],[
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"with a robot buddy named Sparky.",
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"whom everyone believes is mad.",
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"gone bad.",
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"with a mysterious suitcase handcuffed to his arm.",
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"living undercover at Ringling Bros. Circus.",
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"searching for his wife's true killer.",
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"who dotes on his loving old ma.",
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"looking for 'the Big One.'",
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"who knows the secret of the alien invasion.",
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"on the edge.",
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"on a mission from God.",
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"with a secret.",
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"in drag.",
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"",
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"plagued by the memory of his family's brutal murder.",
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"looking for a cure to the poison coursing through his veins.",
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"moving from town to town,
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helping folk in trouble.",
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"who must take medication to keep him sane.",
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"who hangs with the wrong crowd.",
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"possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect.",
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"with a winning smile and a way with the ladies.",
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"fleeing from a secret government programme.",
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"from the 'hood.",
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"haunted by an iconic dead American confidante.",
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"with a passion for fast cars.",
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"trapped in a world he never made.",
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"in a wheelchair.",
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"on the hunt for the last specimen of a great and near-mythical creature.",
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"on the run.",
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"for the 21st century.",
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"who hides his scarred face behind a mask.",
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"on the wrong side of the law.",
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"with no name.",
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"from the Mississippi delta.",
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"with acid for blood.",
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"with nothing left to lose.",
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"haunted by memories of 'Nam.",
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"on a search for his missing sister.",
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"on his last day in the job.",
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"from a doomed world.",
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"who believes he can never love again.",
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]
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], 'she' => [
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[
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"a radical",
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"a green-fingered",
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"a tortured",
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"a time-travelling",
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"a vivacious",
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"a scantily clad",
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"a mistrustful",
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"a violent",
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"a transdimensional",
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"a strong-willed",
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"a ditzy",
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"a man-hating",
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"a high-kicking",
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"a blind",
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"an elegant",
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"a supernatural",
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"a foxy",
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"a bloodthirsty",
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"a cynical",
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"a beautiful",
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"a plucky",
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"a sarcastic",
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"a psychotic",
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"a hard-bitten",
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"a manipulative",
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"an orphaned",
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"a cosmopolitan",
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"a chain-smoking",
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"a cold-hearted",
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"a warm-hearted",
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"a sharp-shooting",
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"an enchanted",
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"a wealthy",
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"a pregnant",
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"a mentally unstable",
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"a virginal",
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"a brilliant",
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"a disco-crazy",
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"a provocative",
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"an artistic"
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],[
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"tempestuous",
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"Buddhist",
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"foul-mouthed",
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"nymphomaniac",
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"green-skinned",
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"impetuous",
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"African-American",
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"punk",
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"hypochondriac",
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"junkie",
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"blonde",
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"goth",
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"insomniac",
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"gypsy",
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"mutant",
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"renegade",
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"tomboy",
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"French-Canadian",
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"motormouth",
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"belly-dancing",
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"communist",
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"hip-hop",
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"thirtysomething",
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"cigar-chomping",
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"extravagent",
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"out-of-work",
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"Bolivian",
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"mute",
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"cat-loving",
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"snooty",
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"wisecracking",
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"red-headed",
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"winged",
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"kleptomaniac",
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"antique-collecting",
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"psychic",
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"gold-digging",
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"bisexual",
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"paranoid",
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"streetsmart"
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],[
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"archaeologist",
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"pearl diver",
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"mechanic",
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"detective",
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"hooker",
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"femme fatale",
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"former first lady",
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"barmaid",
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"fairy princess",
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"magician's assistant",
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"schoolgirl",
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"college professor",
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"angel",
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"bounty hunter",
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"opera singer",
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"cab driver",
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"soap star",
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"doctor",
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"politician",
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"lawyer",
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"nun",
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"snake charmer",
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"journalist",
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"bodyguard",
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"vampire",
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"stripper",
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"Valkyrie",
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"wrestler",
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"mermaid",
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"single mother",
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"safe cracker",
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"traffic cop",
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"research scientist",
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"queen of the dead",
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"Hell's Angel",
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"museum curator",
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"advertising executive",
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"widow",
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"mercenary",
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"socialite"
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],[
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"on her way to prison for a murder she didn't commit.",
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"trying to make a difference in a man's world.",
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"with the soul of a mighty warrior.",
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"looking for love in all the wrong places.",
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"with an MBA from Harvard.",
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"who hides her beauty behind a pair of thick-framed spectacles.",
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"with the power to see death.",
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"descended from a line of powerful witches.",
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"from a family of eight older brothers.",
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"with a flame-thrower.",
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"with her own daytime radio talk show.",
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"living on borrowed time.",
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"who can talk to animals.",
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"prone to fits of savage,
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blood-crazed rage.",
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"who don't take no shit from nobody.",
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"with a knack for trouble.",
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"who believes she is the reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian queen.",
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"fleeing from a Satanic cult.",
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"on the trail of a serial killer.",
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"with a birthmark shaped like Liberty's torch.",
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"in the witness protection scheme.",
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"from out of town.",
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"from aristocratic European stock.",
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"living homeless in New York's sewers.",
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"with only herself to blame.",
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"from beyond the grave.",
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"married to the Mob.",
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"from the wrong side of the tracks.",
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"from a secret island of warrior women.",
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"from Mars.",
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"with someone else's memories.",
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"from a different time and place.",
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"operating on the wrong side of the law.",
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"who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt.",
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"who dreams of becoming Elvis.",
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"with a song in her heart and a spring in her step.",
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"in the wrong place at the wrong time.",
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"with an incredible destiny.",
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"with the power to bend men's minds.",
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"with an evil twin sister."
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]
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] }
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def descr(gender)
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(0..3).to_a.map { |n|
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TFCStrings[gender][n][rand(TFCStrings[gender][n].size)]
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}.join(' ').sub(/ $/, '.')
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end
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puts("He's " + descr('he') + " She's " + descr('she') + ' They fight crime!')
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